TALE AS OLD AS TIME.
what is going on
who buys sixty bananas
i don’t get this shit
i remember when i was 5 i used to take dancing lessons and there was this kid in 7th grade who’d make fun of me and call me “gay” but the jokes on him because i gave his younger cousin a handjob at camp so who’s gay now
i think you’re still technically gay
when i find stretch marks on my thighs i make a point of smooching them because they’re just doing their best at keeping the all-powerful immortal Being within me from ripping my mortal shell asunder in a blaze of heavenly glory and eviscerating the cosmos in my divine wrath
All of Stan Lee’s Marvel film cameos (updated!)
This makes me so sad
My headcanon for the MCU-verse is the Frigga always wanted more children, but they only ever had Thor. Frigga smiled and pretended all was well, but there was always a secret longing for a child who was more like her. As much as she loved Thor, he was very much his father’s son and the golden child. He had no patience for magic and tricks.
And then her husband comes back from war with this infant, a child who could be a hostage against the Jotun, who could one day be useful, an ally on the throne of Jotunheim. But Frigga doesn’t see that. She sees a frightened baby, and takes him from Odin, and cradles him as if he’s her own, and the baby’s cries soften.
"He is a Jotun. You cannot forget that," Odin said, over and over, but Frigga only smiled and said, "No. He is my son."
Sure, I didn’t need those feels
YOU BASTARD *SOBS*
NO BUT THIS IS HILARIOUS SHE WAS IN BRIDGE TO TERABITHIA
The world is weird, man. Weird and kinda beautiful.
My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%
NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.
It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.
An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.
So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.
My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.
I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..
What’s next pizza delivery hitmen
Monica Sjoo, The Great Cosmic Mother: Rediscovering the Religion of the Earth (via dilfcomplex)
wanting to reblog an anti-bullying post and seeing comments that are bullying people into reblogging is never a good time
i have no fucking clue what a dog looks like
I feel that this is necessary after some of the things I’ve witnessed on tumblr. I’ve watched people receive extremely hateful and vicious attacks, and most of the time they feel like they’re completely alone and everyone is against them. I want them to know that’s not the case.
If you really want to help me make a statement, please copy this and repost it instead of reblogging. Tag all your fandoms. That way, people tracking the tags will keep seeing it and will know that there are more good people than haters in the community.
Have you seen that clam video? Dude it changed my life. Anyways Jennifer here, annoyed that people think i look like a cat, sometimes grumpy and reblogs everything thats humanly possible